Some questions

Am I me or am I a soup of chemicals? What makes me me?

Can you measure how much happiness you bring to people around you? Can you measure the sorrow you leave in your wake? What if your net effect was more pain and suffering than cheer and merry? Would it be better to leave society in this case? Is it even worth caring about what others feel because of oneself?


Rambling of a restless mind

So this post starts at 1:38 AM on October 26th because I feel shitty about myself. Shitty because I have made promises to myself about doing and learning stuff that I deem creative and enriching. In particular this post started off as my thoughts wandered to the AI courses that I should be studying in my free time instead of searching for new TV series to watch (by the way, I just watched an episode of Bojack and liked it :P). The AI lessons started as a way to build a career in an upcoming and challenging application of software engineering, but then my physics interest kicked in, wanting to reserve some study time for itself.

Essentially this post is a way to keep a log for myself about my thoughts, my wishes and my progress. I had been meaning to start writing such pieces for weeks now, but you know how it is. An idea you want to write about strikes you in the blue and then you find yourself sitting in your office, or driving or doing the most boring thing you can’t get out of. Couple that with the brain I have, such inchoate ideas take seconds to evaporate.

For now I will leave you with a list of the stuff that I have to do in the next three weeks. So first and foremost, I am helping the IIT BHU team for pan IIT Diwali Dhamaka 2017 –  a skit competition between eight IITs. I and KT have managed to collect most of the audio clips we need to play with the skit, but there is more work to be done. Next is to prepare slides for the same skit. The idea of the slides is to pick out funny punches in the script and show more funny stuff related to it. Along with this, I have to finish reading a book on Mirza Ghalib’s sher. This is a wonderful book that provides an elaborate meaning for each sher. Once that is done, I have to start reading another book, “A Man called Ove”. This would be a fun read, I see that Tom Hanks is making a movie in Hollywood based on it. I have to read this before the November 15th book club meet of the India Community Center.

Phew! I think I have written about enough stuff for now. Will see you again soon.


A Post from my Diary

4th October 2014


So I am sitting in the Silent Study Room of Noble Library at ASU right now and I was just going through a website called DIY hacking, which provides detailed instructions on building various kinds of electronic devices for yourself. It was pretty cool and I was very excited. Right now, I want to start working on something from the website, let’s see.

But anyway, the point is, all this took me into a fantasy world, where my sweet dreams are the order and I am really really happy! I saw a flash of a childhood memory in that world, and to ensure that I had a written record of it, I came here 🙂 The memory goes thus:

I remember it was daytime in our Kabirchaura home. There was me, bhaiya(elder brother) and chhotu(a neighbour) playing with toy cars. I guess one of the cars was battery operated or maybe was of the kind which when you roll backwards while on the ground stores energy and when you release it, the wheels start turning in the opposite direction, because of the stored energy and drives the car forward. Whichever of these were there, somehow the one bhaiya was playing with broke, and then we all gathered to see what had happened, obviously clueless about how it worked.

So bhaiya is all calm and says in a cool voice, “Jab aisa kuchh tootata hai, to humein achchha lagta hai. (When something like this breaks down, I actually like it)”. I look at him, all confused and cursing in mind. ‘Saala, abhi humse toota hota to daant raha hota! (If it would have broken while I was playing with it, he would have been scolding me right now!)’ and then I look at chhotu, who is nodding at bhaiya’s words. My mind is totally blown and I think these have gone crazy.

And then like a learned saint, bhaiya goes on, “Phir uske andar dekhne ko milta hai ki ye chalta kaise hai! (Then I get to see inside the toy, and how it works)”. And then I understood what he was saying and I marvelled at the way he was thinking. By the way, I am pretty sure that while chhotu was nodding in agreement, he actually had no idea about where bhaiya was going with his first line, he just had to look cool in front of me.

So that’s the end of the memory flash I had. It just made me wonder about how curious we are as kids, and what happens as we grow up. Hopefully, this kid will not die soon! I want to write more about this, but I should really get back to my studies 😦

Aman Yadav